Fox TV is the new... nope, I don't have an appropriate metaphor.
Round One: Amy Vs. Tonya
thanks, Michele
This moose was mad as hell, and clearly not going to take it any more.
You thought the end of empire would come via fossil fuels or nuclear armageddon, didn't you? Oh no: the four horsemen of this apocalypse wear hooves.
faith in humanity= -1
It's like a fluffy trainwreck. I want to look away, but I can't.
Please tell me there is much, much more to this story.
Barclays Capital staff gained notoriety last July after splashing out their own money on vintage wines... ...the celebration cost them their jobs because the extravagance angered some customers.
If you're pregnant, and in the West Bank, try not to travel by car.
Two pregnant women, an Israeli and a Palestinian, both gave birth to baby girls Monday after they were shot in separate incidents in the West Bank. Soldiers also shot and wounded 17-year-old Shadia Shehade at the same roadblock Sunday. Hours later, she gave birth in hospital to a girl...
Either way, she's a party on wheels:
An 81-year-old woman in a wheelchair was arrested at Miami International Airport on charges of trying to smuggle nearly 10,000 Ecstasy tablets into the United States. The suspect, who was arrested with her 56-year-old boyfriend... thought they were Viagra.
Check out the new photos section, created by Brendan, purveyor of fine designs.
Just look at those comments windows. Slick!
Woohoo, it's up!
The London / Newcastle travelogue
the kitten keyboard
A whole octave of kitties!
A Suffolk schoolgirl had her pink hair airbrushed out of her year group photograph because teachers said the colour was incompatible with school uniform. "Ashley's hair colour does not bring credit upon the other pupils and the school."So instead they digitally alter it to a shade that is the average of every other student's haircolor. One assumes the school has no policy forbidding the dying of one's hair bright pink. Which is, actually, compatible with the school's blue uniforms, moreso than brown anyway. Poor kid. At least it wasn't her complexion they had a problem with; looks like that's nearly standardized at Northgate.
Look out, girl two rows behind Ashley!
Japanese Zoo Fakes Polar Bear Escape
Because it's bound to happen eventually. Ponder for a moment the image of a guy in a polar bear suit, clambering over zoo walls and pretending to savage onlookers while his hard-hatted coworkers create a maze of nets, "tranquilize" and capture him. That kinda puts those furry conventions to shame.
Get Your Voltr On
So good.
Yahoo Weather Got it Right
The weather in Berkeley, today, is almost as weird as it used to be on Twin Peaks. The fog is so dense you can barely see out the back window, and it drips from the trees like rain, but the droplets are so tiny, and without cores, that they just hover in mid-air. If you walk fast enough, you can feel them hit your face, and a walk to the end of the driveway will leave you soaked. It's exhilarating.
Dave worries that we might drown, if we walk around unprotected. I think we're amphibious.
This sinister sheep business is nothing new.
It started with the killer kitties of Wales, who trained suicidal shearlings in the art of revenge. Now they're passing on the lore to docile deer. Clever cows are escaping, over 6' walls, from slaughterhouses. "The cow's pretty good, I mean maybe she's had some training in evasive tactics or something." What if she learned the sheep's sharpshooting skills?
More exciting news from Berkeley: vitamin supplements for clones?
"The brain looks better, they are full of energy - everything we looked at looks more like a young animal." Which would be pretty good, if you were born with the telomeres of a 70-yr old.
"Those sorts of activities are not part of the approved course curriculum,"
"It was a class bonding experience."
The two passengers aboard American Airlines Flight 101 reportedly made "four or five" trips to the bathroom together during the flight, which made crew members suspicious, so they reported it to the pilot.
Four or five trips? On a 7hr flight? Yowza!
Posting's been slow, as I just finished a corpse slice.
Am also trying very hard to stop tweaking the UK2002 travelogue. Argh.
Photos coming soon. Words, too.
Who needs Bloggies: I'm in (gossip from) Hell This Week!
"How the hell did I find out that they're using Barry White music to get sharks to fuck? Because I go to peace dividend, an excellent collection of strange news."Yay!
Pity the poor posterchild: Vitamins in Beer Plan Considered
via ann elizabeth
Oh, well that's really comforting:
John M Poindexter and the Information Awareness Office
I love this redesign. Brendan, take a bow!
My listing on Blogdex is right next to that for Pixar Shorts. I'd like to think that's a happy omen. Only the oracle of Blogdex knows.
Best Miguel Limerick
Should I put that on my resume?
"Says here your projects at Pixar wrapped in September. What have you done with the intervening five months?"
"I produced award winning content for an internationally famous weblog!"
Coyote Rides Max!
We have a Portland-dwelling friend named Max. The PDX public transportation system is called MAX, its slogan is Ride MAX (there's even a How To Ride MAX manual). Hilarity regularly ensues, especially when wild beasts get into the act. Such a cute coyote!
Cc: the cloned kitty
Let's hope she doesn't end up like the mice. Such a bad idea: "...the cloning experiments were funded by an 81-year-old financier, who wants to charge wealthy pet owners to clone their animals. "
For the girl/boy who has everything: The dildoll.
It comes with trendy leather harness.
Some Histories of St. Valentine's Day
• The Catholic version.
• Lupercalia, festival of fertile flocks.
• Lupercalia, "festival of sexual license."
• Saint Valentine, patron saint of epilepsy.
• St. Valentine/s of the lovers under conditions of duress.
• Chock-full-of-quotes version of the Lupercalia story, by a lady with huge hair.
• History of the Valentine card. In English circa 1757, Pisces rhymed with kisses.
• A snapshot history of postcards, with an historically wack Valentine explanation.
• Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women.
Barry White enlisted to set the mood for lurve in the shark tank
Just when you think the whole world is going crazy, English ichthyologists prove you wrong. But they're only piping the music into the people-tube, not the tanks. It's conceivable they're reacting to the vibes of the visitors, as much as the buzz of the baritone. And doesn't that sound like a party, swaying to the sounds of Barry White in front of the shark tank?
Monsters, Inc.'s, For the Birds' Ocar Nominations Announced
My favorite job, ever, was doing script supervision for Shorts and Monsters, Inc. It was a brief contract gig, wth a short-and-steep learning curve, and I loved every minute of it. While the nominations are no surprise, I'm so proud. Congratulations, Pixar people!
The surge of the microgeny to a surface that dissolves the instant it appears, the priority of the Self in the unfolding sequence, the feeling of agency, create a Self in a state of becoming, a Self that travels in time like the crest of a wave, always in pursuit of a future just beyond the grasp of the present.Suddenly, it all makes sense.
Happy Lunar New Year
Get down with your ritual-house-cleaning self.
It dawned on me that I haven't looked at FuckedCompany in nearly a year.
I'd been laid off for the second time (right after "we" "acquired" these guys), was bored with the gossip left over from the first, and was already seeing FC postings for every single job I'd been offered in between. It was when my next big offer appeared that I swore off of it and made the big leap back into film production. And became, happily, way too busy to surf.
Of course, film projects wrap.
All this leisure time has got me looking at FuckedCompany again.
And somehow there's still plenty to read.
"Let's not talk about any of those things that God doesn't make." In their closing arguments, lawyers for transsexual Michael Kantaras argued he has always been a devoted father, while his wife's lawyer insisted that Kantaras is not a man and therefore not legally father.
Wow. I was going to make a comment about the separation of church and state, but that quote is pretty clear proof that evil reigns in Florida. Apparently, Linda can't even pronounce her daughter's name correctly. Neat.
Beauregard ate my hobnob.
"We believe that this is the first time the existence of fossil vomit on a grand scale has been proven beyond reasonable doubt.''
Well. I, for one, never doubted for a moment the existence of fossilized vomit... on a grand scale... Ew. As if that weren't absolutely good enough, there is the proud assertion that their paleopuke sample is the oldest. Because that matters.
Of greater interest than age is how much relevant information can be gleaned from the holocene hurl. Which: ichthyosaurs liked to binge and purge when it came to belemnites.
Looking forward to their article.
It's been cold here, lately.
When I came home yesterday, I took off my jacket and put on a sweater.
Then took off my boots and put on some slippers.
It was a Mister Rogers moment.
Well, at least they weren't making Catholic kiddie porn.
Oh dear. That is so next week's big headline.
I wish they didn't feel the need to name the plaintiffs. Sure, this one is now 25, but he *was* 13 and he *is* now branded. Feh.
Joining the Chorus
Every time your cell phone rings, a worm is born.
Almost a year after taking these, I'm finally posting to the Mirror Project.
I'm with them: There is so little that's original on the web these days. Everything seems a bit recycled, plagiarised, stolen, revisited, reworked, repackaged.
Especially in the personal publishing world.
No one has yet c ommented on the goat sex story.
Is it passe, now, for stylish young men to molest goats as a means of entertaining trains packed full of commuters?
I was gone too long.
Director- Forensic and Litigation Services, KPMG
They're hiring a whole entire person to manage this?
Retired priest accused in lawsuit calls charges of sex abuse 'exaggerated'
Asked if his behavior constituted sexual abuse, Desilets said: "Probably it could be interpreted that way... It's very difficult if we're trying to be nice people."
Why do People Have to Fight?
This really pissed off my previously-napping cat.
He wanted to attack the monitor.
Cute kitty.
Spam of the Day:
From: RandallOh, wait. I do have to link to them, because this is just too precious:
Hi,
Have you visited http://icannotrisksendingthemanybusiness.com lately?
We have Ten Commandment, Christian and Patriotic yard signs!
Stock designs or custom printed with the Bible verse or Christian
message of your choice. We can even include your church name
or business name. Great church or company project! Great for
fundraising also!
plus get 5 FREE plastic photo ID cards!
Web Design: For your web site needs we can offer you a simple low cost web presence or a massive e-commerce site. Our staff is proficient in all programming languages, this combined with our design expertise enables us to create a web presence for you that is both functional and attractive. We can handle just a small part of your project or we can handle everything from start to finish.That right there is Southern Baptist chutzpah, and chutzpah usually means profit.
Who needs an MBA when you've got the Ten Commandment?
Judy Jetson is appearing in the April Playboy, showing off her new rack. OK, actually, it's Tiffany. But she voiced Judy in the '90 movie. Which you didn't see.
Last time I saw a photo of her, she was signing autographs with Wil Wheaton.
They're reportedly together again - in Boulder, CO, with the band KillYourself.
Our neighbors housesat for us while we were away in London. Among the many treats we brought back for them was a box of Lemsip packets. They have a little in-joke: when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming, one offers the other a packet of Lemsip. Because it contains an OTC version of Vicodin.
Oh, those funny Brits, marketing cold remedies with barbituates in them; yep, that'll shut the kids up when they're cranky.
But no.
The active ingredient, paracetamol, is a version of a drug also found in Vicodin, but not the good/bad part.
Paracetamol is acetaminophen. AKA Tylenol. Why acetamenophen has a whole separate name for the European market, I don't know.
But hey, it dyes your tongue purple. And that's good enough for me.
There is a fine lassie named Melly
Her musings affect one, quite swell-ly
One day soon her papoose
will decide to spring loose
and maybe she'll get back her belly!
Happy Birthday, Melly!
Until then, go read Mig's weekend story; see if you can find me in his photos.
Back from London.
My inner ear is thoroughly confused. It is convinced I've spent the better part of a day on a small boat being tossed around the North Sea - which I've done, and had a blast doing while everyone else got horribly seasick - but all I did was ascend and decend four times in as many days, and spend 25 of the last 36 hours travelling from one place to another.
As soon as the room stops bobbing, I'll post some photos and witty commentary. Synopsis: a) the Donohoes are amazing folks, we're lucky to have such awesome people to call family. b) Newcastle and greater Northumbria continue to be great. c) London is our new favorite city. And, as many of you predicted, the V&A is my new favorite museum.
4 out 5 dentists recommend pseudodictionary for all your street-cred needs:
altzheimer's - A condition afflicting chronic hipsters who can no longer recall if they like something genuinely, or ironically. ex. As Ron stared in bewilderment at the hideous leather pants and retro Star Wars sheets he had just purchased, he realized his Altzheimer's was advancing with terrifying speed.
Bonn's opera may face criminal charges, prosecutor Fred Apostel said. Under German animal protection rights, animals must only be killed for understandable reasons.