Like I always say: don't mess with Catholic school girls.
Thomas Simone, Kelly's father, said he was proud of his daughter and her classmates.
"They beat the crap out of him," he said, laughing.
Oh my. I had no idea it was Protection From Pornography Week already.
Everyone get naked, or put on your corsets and fishnets, and riot!
As you well know, bikini bars and adult bookstores cause much of the pain and suffering in our society.
Not crack, not heroin, not Republicans with fake chins and Hummer2s. Just bikini bars.
They lead to sexual assault due to the "frenzy from aroused men" that frequent these locations.
Buildings are the problem. They lead to assault. Due to the frenzy that frequent(s) these locations.
This has got to be a hoax.
WAR-LINE: War Against Rape-Let It Never End
But wouldn't you want the war to end? With, you know, justice?
No. That is neither the WAR-L.I.N.E. (who could not pick between these two acronym styles, so used them both) folks' Mission nor Their Goal. The mission is to foment suspicion and foster blame; the goal is to, well, foment suspicion and foster blame. Forget examination of the actual problem, or any sort of palliative response; the important thing here is that the war never end.
"Does your church or organization or favorite restaurant or landlord care?"
Again with the buildings. If you think of your church, or a restaurant, in the same terms as your landlord, there is a deeper problem than, well, whatever they might someday posit as their members' problems. The outline of goals is even better: "Hellooooooooooooooo - Is anyone awake out there? Statistics are pretty revealing." That makes almost as much sense as harrassing patrons of adult video/toy stores, and posting their photos on your website.
Bonus points for tear-jerking artwork.
Extra super 12" disco remix bonus points for the Minor's Lane address, registered at GoDaddy.com.
Where evil dwells:
The home, beige with red trim, had an American flag at the doorway and yellow ribbons scattered about. A psalm was posted on a window pane in three places.
And evil is "self-employed," homeschools its kids, and rides its bike, most mornings, after church.
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."
Mark Twain didn't say it, but anyone who was born and raised here will tell you: it's true enough. But look, now: it's hotter, here, than in Sacramento, than L.A., than even New Orleans. It's already snowing, in some parts of the country. And Amsterdam, which had a balmy July while we shivered in the fog? Not yet cold enough for ice skating, but getting there.
Every year these freshcuts show up, bemoaning the overcast June, the rain on the 4th of July.
"Just wait," I tell them, "It'll be 90º right up until Halloween."
And lo. It is hot.
F'ing hot.
Guh.
Draft Two is 392 pages long.
As of ten minutes ago.
Now I just need to re-order some bits, re-outline the whole frickin' thing, and maybe go through and reconcile the few tiny continuity errors. Or maybe I'll actually read through the massive pile of notes that have collected on the bedside table. But still: I may just get this out to the Committee of Critical Friends (which really should have tax-exempt status, don't you think?) by the end of the month. That'd be one year from when I started.
And I still think it's pretty good.
Spamku seems to be the hot new form of poetry. While not as elegant as the 5-7-5 of traditional haiku, the 8-7-5-9-8-5 structure is, nonetheless, intriguing.
No oblg, just find out if you
deserve a better pay at
Law or medicine.
Are you qualify for a job in
Law or medicine industry?
Just 1 page fill up!
Now if I could just figure out what "medicine industry" means.
Maybe I am qualify. I'm pretty sure I deserve a better pay.
"Only in San Francisco."
The phrase is uttered daily, usually by the bridge-and-tunnel worker bees hanging out at Briazz.
Joe Garofoli dragged his ass out of the financial district to find out what it means to the locals.
Nice work, Joe.
"The school responded quickly to the situation and, as a precaution, paramedics were called."
Shouldn't they have, rather, called the bomb squad? I mean.
It's not just a case of coricidin and Wisconsin betties .
It's sildenafil. And English schoolboys.
You know things are tough, when morticians are temping.
'Mentally ill' bomb expert missing in Thailand
Just in time for NaNoWriMo!
We celebrated Marriage Protection Week, 2003 by attending the wedding of our friend Stew to his boyfriend Layne.
"Nevada statutes don't provide for attempted murder of a lobster," Roger said.
Roger said (FBI agent) Hanson did not receive preferential treatment in court.
"He pleaded straight up to the charge, made restitution and paid the fine."
Yeah. You know what can happen to a child who grows up in a polyglot environment. She might end up intelligent, versatile, possibly even (shudder) one of them there intellectual elite. That's practically against state policy.
Then, with a five-foot pole, Mr. Breheny defied a cardinal law of survival: he poked the tiger.
"I just kind of, quietly, steadily, poked him once," he said. "I waited, and then I poked him two more times."
Perfectionnement De Scrotal, Vous Abrutis!
That's one of my top referals, this morning.
Turns out I'm pretty funny, en (Googlish) Francais.
Offer “gentlemen of the road” not money
– which they might spend on food –
but a nip of cognac from your hip flask.
Indeed. The victim is 28 years old, for heaven's sake. That's twice the age I was when the nice officers at 850 Bryant gave me my masseuse license. They even let me skip the permit; instead, I got an indenture contract with a Tenderloin massage parlor. Who cared that I could't legally sign a contract?
That's the sort of helpful service we locals have come to expect.
Do you believe that kangaroos were amongst those animals aboard the Ark?
"Yes. Even though they were not explicitly mentioned in the Bible, they have the breath of life and so clearly two of them must have been aboard the Ark. How else would they be alive today?"
So then, did kangaroos once live in the Middle East?
"It is clear that they must have. There is no other sound, Biblical explaination!"
That is some righteous (ahem) scholarship, right there. I wonder if the author is fron Kansas, in which state they once taught this stuff (in public schools!), or in some state where explanation is pronounced as it is spelled above. That's not as interesting, though, as what was on the author's mind when he coined the term "asswaged."
Dirty man.
>>>UPDATE<<<
Brendan confirms what I suspected:
Finally, our money is as cool as Dutch currency, may it RIP.
...a conversation starter at any gathering
But probably not very long conversations.
"Um, hi. There's a coyote humping your neck."
"Yes, don't you just love it?"
"..."
How to get a great job, a fantastic job: Join Arnold! as the Appointed Director of Labor Standards Enforement, Alchoholic Beverage Control, or Youth Authority.
Seriously. You can apply online.
I guess that means that a) they're firing everyone, and b) they, er, didn't plan ahead.
BUBBA HO-TEP
If you love Bruce Campbell, or if you love Elvis or JFK or fun movies with just a teeny tiny story-hole that I'm sure was just an unfortunate bit of editing and will feel better in the Director's Cut DVD which can't come out fast enough for me 'cause it's only on the big screen for a week and I think I'll watch it more than 6 times, hello, then go see it.
Opening night in Berkeley was hosted by the lovely folks at Dark Carnival. There was, Fat Elvis on a Mobile Toilet as the MC, Dead JFK as the something-like-a-straight-man, a sexy dead nurse and a zombie with curves under those wrappings, oh yes. While waitingin line I got a mini-poster, for knowing what kind of snacks to buy (peanut butter and banana sandwich. fried.), and a cool mummy Pez for knowing where to sit to catch the flying candy-bullets (back, and to the left). It was good.
If you have a really smart cat, he'll come to you periodically throughout the day, clamber up on your lap, and give you the look that signals "Mom, it's time." And you stop what you're doing and heat up his IV bag and coo and tell him what a good boy he is, and snap on a fresh Monoject, and you think "well, hey, I guess we could get used to this routine." But the moment he sees that needle coming, and feels your fingers make The Tent, well... it's not that easy.
"For the people to win, politics as usual must lose."
"There's no White House connection in our transition team."
One of its members is Gerald Parsky, a top Bush fund-raiser and the White House's point man in California.
"I would like it if he doesn't (sic) make any appointments, and I would like it really (sic)
if he doesn't (sic) sign any more bills."
The deadline for signature or veto of all pending legislation is Oct. 12.
If Mr. Davis does not act on the bills, they automatically become law.
"I don't know if Arnold understands that," Mr. Maviglio said.
Gov. Pete Wilson made 435 appointments in the two months between Mr. Davis's election and his inauguration.
Mr. Wilson also appointed 31 judges during that period.
Mr. Wilson served as co-chairman of Schwarzenegger's campaign.
"Until the secretary of state hands the new governor his election certificate,
Governor Davis will continue doing the job the Constitution requires him to do."
"But we will be working on that."
We will be working on what? A nice, quick constitutional amendment?
One learns, if one is paying attention, something new every day.
Today's new thing: Lucille Bliss, aka Miss Bitters, was also Anastasia, Crusader Rabbit, and Smurfette.
Also she was the narrator for Rainbow Brite's San Diego Zoo Adventure. I am hereby edified.
It is a proud, proud day, here on peacedividend.
I am hits #2 and #3 on Google for non-consensual copulation mallard .
High-five to Chris for her #5 and #7.
Jima, purveyor of fine Dictionaraoke tunes, has produced a draft of the new state slogan.
It's got a beat, and you can dance to it.
Not like the offical state soft-core pr0n with landscape features.
Face it, the Republicans are organized and efficient.
It was just this summer that Orrin Hatch presented S.J. RES.15, aka the Demolition Ammendment.
"I want my $9 Billion"
"Oh, well my dad's out right now, but-"
Dear Placer, San Diego, Sutter, SLO and especially Orange Counties:
I know it's not polite to stick out one's tongue, and I hate to stoop to such childish levels.
But your behavior just leaves me speechless.
On the upside, I guess this means I can look forward to "a fantastic job."
Until then, I've got some fantastic eBay auctions.
New state motto: "Nice tits"
Or, for the next couple hours anyway, "Close your eyes, can't happen here."
Thrill to the magical adventures of President Flightsuit and his sexy, sexy torso.
Keywords: homosexuality, necrophilia, non-consensual copulation, mallard
(cue googling of consensual necrophilia, muscovy)
Photos are up from last weekend's How Berkeley Can You Be parade.
Go for the fish car. Stay for the ganja smoking grannies.
Friends don't let friends put Bengal tigers in cages in their front yards in Houston.
Or in ads for Sprint, or on the stroll in Vegas.
What a week.
Happy Friday, kids.
Seize the Booty.
...a male and a female in the front yard engaged in sexual entercourse.
Victim: Paula
Victim: Society
Dead Pope Will Not Be Hammered
As recently as 40 years ago, the Camerlengo (verified death) by tapping the pope's head three times with a small hammer and shouting his family name close to his ear, but that colorful ritual is not mentioned in the 1996 revisions made by Pope John Paul II to streamline the process, and referred to by the opening Latin words of the document as "Universi Domini Gregis..."
No silver hammer will come down upon his head... to make sure... that he is dead.
(whoa whoa whooa.)
(thanks, Jima!)
Oh happy day:
My ginmill debt is gone. That's what a Brazilian spambot tells me.
You'r ginmill debt is gone, no loan needed, no cost h'elp axudhisx
I was pretty worried about that. I wouldn't want to lose my ginmill.