Gone fishing.
Banana Guard helps you prevent bruising and squashing. Use it anytime, anywhere.
It comes in your choice of Ravishing Red, Passionate Purple, and the all-important Glow in the Dark.
Just be careful with that sturdy locking mechanism.
(Cherry Scented Artificial Mouth) Deemed Obscene by Kansas Grand Jury
Oh, come on. They think that's offensive to accepted standards of decency?
They need to try sharing a BART train with a guy who's just eaten a bag of Corn Nuts.
Or maybe a schpritz of Salivart. Artificial mouths are nothing, compared to artificial saliva.
Michael Jackson is no Homo sapiens.
He's Rhinopithecus roxellanae
The Pixar theater showed Shaolin Soccer tonight, and I am hereby totally smitten with this movie. Every second of it was entertaining. The storytelling is magnificent, and the director draws on many different styles without seeming to test your HK/Bollywood/classic noire/video clerk cred. He did it just for the sheer joy of movie making. I'd read about the film while it was in production, long ago, and it sounded really cool. Some have criticized the not-quite-perfect digital effects for their comic-book over-the-topness, but I think that a) they're supposed to come off like that, and they missed the point, and b) they didn't look one pixel sloppier than Hellboy or The Matrix. Stephen Chow wrote, directed, and starred in it, and did all those things masterfully. It's a totally worthy way to spend $10 and a couple hours.
If at all possible, follow up your viewing with a meal at the Legendary Palace, where Chinatown meets the freeway in Oakland. Ignore the broken sidewalk and the piss-reeking doorways, and aim for the big brass & glass doors. Dim sum starts at 10pm and goes til 2am. If you're early, try the roast suckling pig, or frog oil soup, or fried duck tongue, or medicated turtle pudding. Even if you're late enough for dim sum, take some time to enjoy the menu, and also the diverse people-watching oportunities. You have to make solid eye contact to get service, but once you do said service is impecable. Everything starts with pickled cabbage, and ends with sweet red bean soup, and everything is effing tasty. I kind of can't believe how much I enjoyed that soup, and don't even get me started on the orange sauce that came with the shockingly good pot stickers. Whew.
Here, kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty / Sausalito firm offers clones for $50,000, signs up 5 cat owners
I worked for that guy, when I was fourteen. He was one of three likeably nutty entrepreneurs who hired me to help them with their taxes, and general project administration.
My earnings, last year, were about the same as when I was thirteen. Maybe I should give him a call.
Readers of a certain age may enjoy Electric Company's Sign Song
Christian businesses sell T-shirts (picturing) Jesus on the cross... his arms outstretched, over the quip, "Jesus loves you this much."
They do? Egad. Thank God I live in heathen territory, and not a place where I'd regularly wonder if Christians would better understand the callousness of their mass marketing efforts if Jesus had died another way. Also worth a read is Poppy's essay Abortion is Not a Sin. Her Cafe Press swag is downright righteous. Seriously, it's even cooler than the Jesus Christ Action Figure with Walk On Water Action (and actual bleeding torso wound!).
At last: all those Googlers who used to come to me to feminize their husbands now have a much better resource.
Eurotrash gives you the full treatment, step by step.
It's expecting too much of sex to hold fast to these principles of self-denial, when in every other arena, everyone's making like Thatcher, with better hair. The rigorous practise of lifelong fidelity probably died at about the same time as the coal mines closed, it's just that no one noticed because text messages hadn't been invented. And the (alleged) betrayal of this particular union has no great message to impart on matters of class or gender whatsoever. Apart from: "Oi! Posh! You ain't posh, you're too thin and you look like a boy!"
thanks, Jima
When I grow up, I want to be a Lit Blogger:
Pick up the nearest book.
Open it to page 23.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
From John Webster's Three Plays: The White Devil, the Duchess of Malfi, the Devil's Law-Case
"That, it seems to me, is profoundly untrue."
Act now and you could buy Frank Zappa's brother's leather jacket.
LiveJournal Images
NSFW, strangely addictive
The anthropologist in me wants to spend hours and hours hitting the "refresh" button, and to write a paper outlining theories on, um, kids these days (Jesus furries? wow.). The person with an actual life in me wants to slap said anthropologist, but first they're both going to gawk just a little more at the "girls who are into cutting" line art.
Taking a tip from the Gipper :
(Rice) testified that she did not remember.
A test group of Dutch girls are had small metal glittery half-moons and hearts implanted into their eyes' mucous membranes, at a cost of $610 to $1,232. Once the trend takes off, JewelEye plans expand its line to include roses, cavorting dolphins, Tweety Pies, Tasmanian Devils, mudflap girls, and tiny glittering letters spelling out Friends4Evah.
Crawford is 5 feet, 9 inches tall and weighs 175 pounds.
Gizmo weighed about 2 pounds.
Their yard sale is the god's (we're not sure which one's) word:
Myers thought the man was coming for the yard sale. "She asked him, 'You shot?' He nodded. A whole lotta blood started coming out his nose and mouth... Just like you turn on a water hose and have that water coming out, that blood was coming out," said Myers.
(Their neighbor) died at the scene. (They) simply continued their yard sale. “Trying to get this out of our heard (sic), living the god's word.”
"The cow creamer will be silent this Thursday and forever forward."
What (the hell)?!?
When (are they going to learn)?!?
Why (is That 70s Show still on the air)?!?
How (can they forget such past mistakes as this)?!?
Who (is getting fired? tell me it's the entire board)?!?
Mister Cardhouse just introduced me to my favorite new drosophila subculture: fruit fly fight club
As it turned out, fruit fly fights were less predictable than lobster fights...
I have a tattoo appointment, on Monday, my first session in two years.
This one requires that I be naked...
Nothing much to see here, as I try to finish this manuscript and learn some conversational German before we take off for Vienna. I feel like such an ugly American, with the "they don't all speak English (or Russian or Italian, except they might) there" anxiety, and I need to be able to drunkenly request another order Stelze.