As much as I WANT O YES DO WANT to add shape of... a typewriter! waffles to my list of simple pleasures, this makes me very sad.

Friends don't let friends hurl epithets like "useless" at functional mechanical beasties, esp. if those beasties are typewriters. There's nothing more useful, to me, than the thing which serves a fundamental purpose many many many many decades after first seeing action.

Chris Dimino, please tell me you went to agonizing lengths to make wax casts, then peeled away the gunk to reveal a supershiny awesome set of 100% dustproof mechanisms. Everyone knows there's a special muzak-enhanced circle of hell reserved for trifling keycutters. Convertible-Corona[really? in beige?]-Waffle-Iron inventors might get special dispensation, but only if they make me some custom [Adler Meteor, circa '79] dried-blueberry-character-stencilling keycaps, on the side.